Thoughts, Musings and Reflections

A List Of Sh*t Black Women Ain’t Dealing With In 20/20

As Black Women working 9-5, second shift, third shift, figuring out how to perform a blowjob or cunnilingus, pick our kids up from daycare, bring home the bacon and fry it up in a pan, all while trying to protect our husbands, wives, partners, sons, and daughters from police brutality, there is SOME SHIT IN THE NEW DECADE BLACK WOMEN JUST AIN’T FUCKING DEALING WITH!! So if you want to walk into 20/20 with your Make America White Again Bullshit Red Cap or Your White Only Feminist Diatribe, let me save you some headache. Black Women Are Tired. And between all the stuff we have to deal with, WE JUST AIN’T GOT TIME! There is just some shit we ain’t dealing within the new decade! 

In the words of my girl, Denita, Ms. Ho, Ho, Ho, “I’m checkin’ lists and everything!” So let’s begin…

1.  Touching Our Got Damn Hair – We have made this crystal fucking clear! We are not in a petting zoo! Was Solange NOT clear ENOUGH?! No, you cannot touch our damn hair. STOP ASKING! 

dont touch my hair hbcu vs pwi GIF by Blavity

2. Apologizing For Wearing Our Natural Hair – THIS IS THE HAIR THAT GROWS OUT OF OUR HEADS! For 20/20, we are NOT explaining this shit ANYMORE! If you have a problem with the way our hair grows out of our heads, have a problem with Karen, or Becky growing their hair out of their heads, then we can have the conversation. 

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racist GIF by Jasmyn Lawson, Editor

4.   Picking Our Brains Over Mediocre “Starbucks-Still-Ain’t Dealt-With-It’s –Racism –And-Classism-Overpriced-Coffee” –  In ANY OTHER WORLD AS LONG AS Y’ALL AINT DEALING WITH BLACK WOMEN, and you meet with someone to discuss your business, you call this consulting and PAY THEM! Black Women Are NO LONGER allowing you to “PICK OUR BRAINS FOR FREE!” PAY US!

happy good morning GIF by Shalita Grant

5.    Working For Exposure- Yeah, Yeah, Yeah. We get it. You have 2 followers and we should be happy to give you all our ideas! NOPE! Exposure leads to death! Black Women will NO LONGER BE WORKING FOR EXPOSURE! 

6. Allowing a Mediocre White Man to Take OUR CREDIT- NOPE! OVER! DONE! FINISHED! If it is OUR IDEA, WE WILL BE STATING THAT LOUD AND CLEAR! We don’t need a mediocre White Man like Bob or Pete Buttigieg to SPEAK FOR US! WE ARE HERE! Which goes to the next point.

Pete Buttigieg pete buttigieg pete buttigieg reactions GIF

7.   Meet the Black Woman Behind. NOPE! MEET THE BLACK WOMAN FIRST!!! PERIOD!!! If there is a fantastic idea and you see a Black woman getting coffee CHANCES ARE SHE CAME UP WITH THE IDEA! SPEAK TO HER FIRST!! SHE BEEN HAD THE IDEA, AND A WHITE MAN STOLE IT! 

serena williams tennis GIF by WTA

8.    Being Apologetic For Having Sex. WHAT?! NOPE! We are women!!! We will NOT apologize for having sex, wanting to cum, and cum hard! PERIOD! If you are NOT in the business of making women cum EXTREMELY WELL, move out of the way for the person who will! THANK YOU! 

Playing Games GIF by Summer Walker

9.    Giving Head and Not Receiving Head Back! DONE! Having your lips and tongue on a man or woman is a beautiful, RECIPROCAL THING! RECIPROCAL IS THE KEYWORD! 69 is a fantastic number! If you are NOT in the business of pleasuring Black women orally, GREAT!! JUST LET US KNOW OFF TOP! Black women will not be sucking dick or eating pussy unless it is a mutual affair. PERIOD!! 

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10. Working For Free – DON’T EVEN FUCKING ASK US! DON’T! Cause you wouldn’t ask Becky to work for free! You gonna cut Becky a check! But when it’s a Black woman, you start talking about free and exposure and nonprofit. BUT YOU TAKE HOME A CHECK EACH MONTH! We ain’t your damn maids! In the words of the great Rhianna, “PAY ME WHAT YOU OWE ME! DON’T ACT LIKE YOU FORGOT!! BITCH BETTA HAVE MY MONEY!!!”

Bitch Better Have My Money GIF

11. Kim Kardashian and ANY OTHER WHITE WOMAN THAT WANTS TO PRETEND TO BE BLACK! We are over it! Done! I am still trying to embrace Ray J since he created this monster. Wheeww Chillllay. Look what you have done, Ray! But okay! White women KNOW about cultural appropriation. THEY AREN’T STUPID. Anything that deals with stealing from Black Women will get likes and views. Kim and every White woman like Kim know what they are doing. For 20/20, BLACK WOMEN ARE OVER IT AND WE AIN’T EVEN COMMENTING! Only Black women can give your SWAGGA JACKIN ACCOUNTABILITY AND WE AINT DOING IT NO MORE! 

12. Explaining Our Sexuality! DONE! Black women fuck men. Black women fuck women. Black women fuck men and women. Sometimes we do it all at the same time. Black women will no longer EXPLAIN THAT SHIT! Black women sleep with who they want to! PERIOD! 

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13.  Dealing with the 53%. You know what you did! We see you! WE BEEN SEEN YOU!!!!!

14. Saving White America. Black Women try time and time and time again to tell you. You don’t listen. Fuck it! Y’all figure it out! 

basketball wives tea GIF by VH1



Photo Credit: Giphy

Feature Article Photo Cred: Instagram: TheOptimistDreamer

38 replies »

  1. 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 I’m not dealing with all of the above. ☝🏾☝🏾☝🏾

    I have seen so many black women that are done dealing with white nonsense. Now when people act a fool, we gonna argh at it, and keep it moving. White people expect us to sit in the same space with them mentally for decades. Too many of them are stuck in twentieth century conversations about race, and we have all moved on. We no longer backtracking to catch them up!

    I feel you could also have included “who Black women are not f*cking!” A lot more Black women are claiming their Ace identities in 2020, and will not be pressured, or shamed, into caring about activities they were never interested in performing, in the first place.

    Being shamed for being child-free. It’s not your bidness what we do with our bodies, and that includes NOT having children.

    What we are doing as black women is claiming our inner geeks. We are fans too, and tired of being erased, and ignored in fandom. We read books, watch movies, and tv shows, and we want representation too. We want to have adventures, get the man, kill the villain, kick some ass, wield a lightsaber, drive fast cars, and be cherished by the protagonist too.

    No longer being surprised or disappointed by how incredibly low Whiteness can be in asserting itself. No matter how awful or stupid I think some racist behavior is, I will no longer be surprised or shocked by it. Whatever it is will probably be surpassed an hour later.

    • Stop trying to make us make us accommodate the insecure white girl that wants us to like her! “Bitch I’m not here to like you! I am here to do my job, make money, and go home!”

  2. We ain’t going back and forth with White women on social media trying to tell us how to vote. Block and move on.

    No longer will sisters be concerned with the comfort of White people. They need to be uncomfortable too. Threaten us with a bad time. We eat that shit for breakfast.

    Black women will no longer be quiet, nor will we be silenced by White men and women without real faces on their social media profile. Block, and move on. This our time to speak truth. We shall reclaim our time wasted on Wimpy White folks hiding behind cartoons.

    Black women are calling out Black people supporting and enabling White Supremacy. If you are hurting us and our children, you shall be put on front street.

    Black women will no longer be shamed for worrying about our own community before we worry about everyone else’s. Fuck that! Take care of home first. If you don’t love yourself you sure as hell can’t love anyone else.

  3. We ain’t having a sit at their tables just to give them the “Black Token” effect!!!! We are building our own tables and will choose to offer them a sit, if we feel like it!

  4. I also vote that we stop tolerating the adulteration of traditional Black auntie foods, like potato salad. There is no reason in the multiverse for anybody to ever add raisins, apples, broccoli, asparagus, smoked ham, and/or sausage to a potato salad.

  5. No longer are black women tolerating BS from black men. No longer putting up with the mentality that black women have to suffer first in order to receive love. No longer being a BM’s therapist, cook, teacher, maid, porn star, etc., for free. No more being race first….time for black women to put themselves first. No more limiting themselves to only BM. Black women are dating out in 2020 and being unapologetic about it.

  6. Dealing with mediocre treatment. We are not building up somebody’s grown ass son nor we are accepting Popeyes in his front seat as a date. And no matter how many times we are called gold diggers or stuck-up, we’re still not accepting it. Either come correct or don’t come at all.

  7. Damn!!! I felt all the above and then some. This black woman isn’t tolerating any BS from anyone who doesn’t give her the appreciation , love , respect and honor that she gives whole heartedly!! If you ain’t got my back & interests at heart, I ain’t got yours.

  8. Not emasculating or downplaying our boys and men. We will stop acting like they are disposable or instilling fear/ inferiority into their psyche

  9. We will not tolerate inadequate medical care. Our complaints are real. Listen to us when we say something is wrong. We are strong, but we are human. We don’t complain unless it’s real. Just because Becky whimpers at the slightest sniffle, doesn’t mean we aren’t also experiencing sickness, pain, or mental distress. Our lives matter so attention doctors and specialists: when we step into your respective offices, LISTEN and treat us completely and effectively!

  10. This spoke to my soul! I’m a Black Woman and I’m not doing none of this shit for the 2020 and beyond!

    • Amen! We get to determine what we are going to put up with and there is just some stuff I am NOT dealing with anymore. Period.

  11. Inadequate accommodations are unacceptable.

    Recent travel to a Southern State… Used the site “Air. . .”, and booked the place. Red barstools, amazing kitchen, we’ll take it. This isn’t the first time of course. Plus this service has never let me down, here and abroad. This time however, long story short…

    Upon entry, Me: “there are no window coverings”, especially in necessary areas. The front door is glass. Red flag number 1. Kitchen was as advertised. Good! Then comes the internal thinking, “It’s not that bad/ok, I can do this.”

    19 stairs later. There is one bathroom. The shower was beautifully done. However, it was situated in the smallest corner I have ever showered in. Think marbled motorhome shower with bronze adornments. For me, Red Flag 2.

    There was a marquee style light box. The kind that allows you to spell out whatever, that read, “Don’t feed the monkey”. The decor was eclectic but nothing with references to the jungle or a zoo as a justifiable theme so now, I’m paused. For me, Red Flag 3. So I changed the sign to read “Don’t feed the money k”

    Fast forward, the owners lived across the street. We discovered that on day 2. Mind you this is after a couple of rotations. Legal in our state. The neighbor came out on the porch next door. Within the light greeting and conversation, he stated, “Didn’t they do a great job redoing this house?”, while simultaneously pointing to the curtainless house across the street, on the left.

    Fast forward, we would soon come to find they had affixed a monitoring device to the doorbell. This allowed them visual, and I assume audio access to anything that was said or occurred on the porch. Also, in order to access the property, you had to register on a website and download an app that served as a key to go in and out. Yet, they still had the bottom lock installed. Now you know we lock doors. Sooooo after we got locked out, we had to go through the website in order to send the owner a message. Of course the “omw” reply came back in milliseconds.

    Have to turn my phone off, I’m on a flight back to Cali. To be continued…

    I just finished reading an email that said we are charging you additional fees of $35 per night per guest and the two people that came over Sunday night were not pre-approved…yada yada yada yada.

    Can you believe this? I’m writing a letter for sure. Thanks for reading. Now I can cut and paste my statement together. Details matter. Blessings!!!

    • WTH?! Were not preapproved? So you can’t have guests over? My goodness. I hate using “Air…” and rarely do because I can’t with the racism I have heard about. This story is something else! Nope! Please write the letter.

      • Thank you for your reply. Exactly! I am still trying to map out my verbal strategy. They tried and I am here for it…LOL


  12. Speak 👏🏾On 👏🏾It! However I was done with this in 2019. But what I am done with in 2020 is the posts about how black men are choosing white women. STFU! So! Let them have their sorry asses. All I see are men who would rather not have a woman hold them to a standard that reflects their birth rite. They want a woman that’s ok with mediocrity. We not accepting “I Can’t”,and we are not going to let you treat us less than queens. We know our heritage. We know we come from battle scarred Purple Hearts. The kind of man I want want a queen anyway. So go boy bye!

  13. Charging less that my artwork is worth.

    Accepting any less than 100% from men…dating OR friends!

    Code-switching. I stopped doing it a long time ago.

  14. Shady business and poor customer service. I love supporting us but you will NOT get my support just because you are black. Please stop having janky customer service and think you will still be in business.

  15. Being the expert on Blackness for white colleagues. We are not a monolithic community despite what you may have been told.

  16. And get the phuck outta our inboxes. PHUCK THAT! Post how you want me to call you ZADDIE on my timeline so yo wife and other girlfriends can see how trifling yoazz strives to be on a daily. We are not flattered, desperate or thirsty. No more. In 2020, we are taking screenshots of your nastyazz inbox messages and using them for comments when you post those lame ass Anniversary or after church service pictures with the wifey. We are done with that flickted phuckery. DONE.

  17. The thought of touching someone’s hair is so gross to me YUK… I have had people ask to touch my hair but it was only black people that asked.

  18. Period cause what we not finna do is keep this cycle going💯🤦🏾‍♀️ my children will not have to uphold, explain, or destroy any of the over generalizations placed on black people. WE ARE NOT MYTHBUSTERS

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