Throughout history until today, we have witnessed many White people feel it is their personal duty to police Black people in spaces. From deciding how much space Black people can take up on the sidewalk, to even stopping Black people and telling them to leave an entire state, White people feel it is their constitutional duty to meddle in the business of Black people.
This seemingly current phenomenon of White people not minding their own damn business is nothing new. ‘BBQ Becky’ has been Beckyin’ for centuries.
Historically, many states instituted Black Codes, which were laws that governed the conduct of free Black people. Those in authority empowered White people to police Black people. These groups of White people were called slave patrols which were, “squadrons made up of White volunteers empowered to use vigilante tactics to enforce laws related to slavery.” Sound familiar? Formerly enslaved people often had to carry Freedom Papers, should they be stopped by a White person to prove they had the right to be free. Black people were even prohibited from gathering in groups of 2 or more. White people were trying to make social distancing a thing for Black people long before the coronavirus.
Even today, White people still seem to believe that Black people must explain why they are in spaces. Just this week, Travis Miller, a delivery driver, was stopped by David Stewart who demanded to know why Miller was in their community. David Stewart stated, “I want to know where you’re going?” Travis Miller was right in his response when he said, “It’s none of your business. I’m going out, that’s where I’m going,” WHY DOES STEWART FEEL IT’S HIS RIGHT TO KNOW WHERE MILLER IS GOING?! IT’S NONE OF STEWART’S DAMN BUSINESS!
What White People ain’t gonna do IS THINK Black people OWE THEM ANY EXPLANATION ABOUT OUR VERY EXISTENCE!
In the year of 20-I -WISH-A-MUTHAFUCKA-WOULD-20, I ain’t explaining ONE THING to ANY White person with a “Let-Me-Speak-To-The-Manager” Haircut! When it comes to my life and the way I move throughout the world, I AM THE FUCKING MANAGER!
Let me be clear, in the words of our great ancestors, “YOU GOT BLACK FOLKS FUCKED UP!”
But since White people continue to want to police Black people in public spaces, I thought I would make a list of acceptable responses when White people inquire, “What are you doing here?”
- None of Your Damn Business!
- Get The Fuck Out Of My Face!
- None of Your Fucking Business!
- I Ain’t Telling You Shit!
- Back The Fuck Up!
- You Got Me Fucked Up!
- Find You Some Damn Business!
- What The Fuck Is Wrong With Yall?
- You Picked The Right One Today! I GOT Time! Matter Of Fact For This Bullshit, I’m Gonna Make Time!
- Ask Your Fuckin’ Mammy!
- Trust Me; You’re Better Off Catching Corona Instead Of Catching These Hands!
- Somebody Better Let Karen Know, I Ain’t The One!
- The Day I Explain Myself To You Will Be The Day Frosty The Snowman Is Selling Ice Cream In Hell!
- I Wish A MuthaFucka Would!
- Try God Bitches, Don’t Try Me!
- I Will Explain Myself To You When Diana Ross Tells Me Why The Fucking Road Turns!
- Touch Me And Be Prepared For A Piping Hot Serving of A Spicy Two-Piece And A Buttered Biscuit!
- Shut The Fuck Up!
- MIND YOUR OWN FUCKING BUSINESS!!
All of the above are perfectly acceptable responses to ANY White person inquiring why you are merely existing in spaces. Black people are done explaining why we are jogging, barbecuing, driving, walking, shopping, just. fucking.breathing.
Black people have been beyond patient with this issue, and personally, I am DONE BEING PATIENT! My patience has worn thin like Rachel Dolezal edges! I HAVE NO MORE PATIENCE! Black people have EVERY RIGHT TO EXIST IN SPACES!! I know some of y’all may not like it, but that fact is not going to change. What is going to change is our response! The NEXT TIME YOU WANT TO POLICE A BLACK PERSON IN SPACES I SUGGEST YOU DO YOURSELF A FAVOR AND MIND YOUR OWN DAMN BUSINESS!
As Langston Hughes so eloquently put it,
“Negroes, sweet and docile, meek, humble, and kind:
Beware the day they change their minds!”