I found myself laughing when I saw the article about Paulette Woods, a Buffalo, New York school board member caught on a Zoom meeting, sipping a glass of white wine, telling people on the call to shut the fuck up, and flipping them the middle finger. What in the ‘I-am-over-this-pandemic’ is going on here?
Paulette might have gotten away with her Zoom tirade had it not been for “Snitching Larry,” that felt the need to point out that Paulette was cussing out all “us muthafuckas!” LMAO! STFU, Larry!
If we are being honest, Paulette simply said what many of us have thought over the past few months. Shut. The. Fuck. Up. If, like Paulette, you have had a few sips of wine, add bitch to the end of that statement for emphasis. Trust me, if you have been on a Zoom with more than three people, someone is cursing you out in their mind. (I’m sure I have been cussed out many times. LOL!)
Look, Paulette is all of us. I understand, Paulette.
When the pandemic first started, the world went from in-person gatherings to Zoom overnight. We had Zoom meetings, Zoom birthday parties, Zoom weddings, Zoom baby showers, Zoom brunches, Zoom everything, And for a minute, it was fine. We did not know what was happening in the world. We felt like the sky was indeed falling. We were thankful to see our friends and family across the nation, even if only on a computer screen. For a few minutes, we had some feelings of normalcy. It was cute. This shit ain’t cute anymore.
Somewhere about 3-4 months into the pandemic, everything changed. Reality set in. We were not going to be done with the coronavirus in a few months, and because some people consider wearing a mask akin to slavery, America was being hit the hardest, with many people refusing to follow the rules so we can be done living this nightmare.
Our days were consumed with Zooms. Everyone was scheduling a Zoom just to schedule some shit. What the fuck ever happened to a PHONE CALL! (Truthfully you probably could just text.)
You don’t need to SEE me to talk to me! If I wanted to see you, I would Facetime your ass! My appreciation for Zoom quickly started to dwindle. Every damn meeting became an Instagram photoshoot.
Plug up the ring light, make a nice background, make sure people can’t see your pile of laundry you have yet to fold, stack your computer on books, be business up top, and who gives a fuck on the bottom. I WAS OVER IT!!
So I started turning my camera off. And this is like the Zoom kiss of death! Everyone wants to know why your camera isn’t on. Why isn’t it on?! What did they want me to say? “Because I am over looking at yall! WE ARE IN A FUCKING PANDEMIC!!! That is REALITY!!! Being on a Zoom is slowly draining any of the life force I have left out of me!!”
People are tired, anxious, not sleeping. People are frustrated when their child answers 4 after repeating for the 100th time, “If Johnny has 5 apples, and eats 2, how many apples does Johnny have left?”
People have lost loved ones, gotten sick, are worried about if and how they will make it through the next few months. People are stressed about keeping the lights on and keeping food on the table. And Paulette, being a Black woman in America, can add the racial pandemic this nation is currently experiencing. I can understand why Paulette has zero fucks left to give!
Should Paulette have cussed out the school board members? Probably not. After denying it happened, she issued an apology. But trust me, Paulette is all of us. We are over it. We are done! Zooms invite people into our homes, and home is our reality. Zoom is an illusion. It is a mirage. Our real lives will not always be pretty. Our attitudes will not always be poised. Our real lives don’t have the ability to add fancy backgrounds. Some days this is just it! We are asking people to be normal in a space in time that is abnormal. And we can only pretend for so long. So we must extend people some measure of grace. Paulette simply said what many of us are thinking when we are on a Zoom- PLEASE SHUT THE FUCK UP and let me drink my wine in peace!