“I’m sorry to ask you this but…”
“I’m sorry for calling you but…”
“I’m sorry to say this but…”
“I might be silly but…”
“This might be stupid but…”
“I hate to ask this but…”
“I’m sorry to send this text but…”
“It was my idea but…”
“Sure, you can use my business plan…”
“Of course, I don’t mind working late to build your empire…”
If you have said or wrote any of the above statements, please raise your hand!
I was the QUEEN of apologizing for my input, always making some self-deprecating statement before my “real” statement, and allowing men to take credit for my ideas without acknowledgment or payment. If not knowing who you are and your worth was an empire, then I was surely the queen on the throne. Then, in 2015, the clock was ticking towards the New Year, and I chose for the New Year that I was no longer going to apologize before I made a statement. I was no longer going to make self-deprecating comments to make myself appear as if I didn’t think I was “better” than the person I was addressing and one of my biggest issues that I needed to tackle was that I was not going to allow men to take credit for my ideas.
All of that may seem like lofty goals but there comes a time in your life when you realize who you are and you realize that you can, and you must stand in your power.
There comes a point in your life that you realize that you do not need to apologize before you make a statement. What are you apologizing for? For being great? For having fantastic ideas? For having a thought? For having an opinion? For going against the grain? For existing? Make a point to be conscious of the words that come out of your mouth. Own your authority. You do not need to apologize before you make a statement. You have every right to say what you feel, and that does not require an apology.
“This might be stupid but…” Why do you feel the need to call yourself or your thoughts stupid before you state them? If you are compelled to say something, it is not stupid. You are not stupid. You do not need to dumb yourself or your comments down for them to be received. You do not need to call your statement stupid so that you do not appear as if you think you are smarter than everyone in the room. Perhaps you are just that smart! There is nothing wrong with being smart! You do not need to make a negative comment about your statement to grease the pathway for a man to accept what you are going to say. Speak with your authority! Your thoughts are just as valid as anyone sitting around the boardroom table, and you do not have to coat your comments in the guise of stupidity to be heard.
Stop allowing men to STEAL YOUR IDEAS!! I have had some of the BEST IDEAS! I have had million dollar ideas. I have had ideas that have elevated people and increased their income all while my income remained the same. I chose to STOP allowing men to steal my ideas! It is easy to remain silent while men steal your ideas because women have been conditioned to be helpful, to assist, to be silent and remain pretty and poised. Women who are promoted just beneath the ceiling don’t rock the boat. But do you want to remain beneath the ceiling or break the ceiling? It is OKAY to say, “I need to be credited for that.” It is okay to say, “My name is not mentioned, and that was my idea.” It is okay to say, “I need to be paid for my work.” And even better, it is okay to KNOW if a man can take your idea and run with it, YOU can take your OWN idea and CONQUER THE WORLD! You do NOT need permission from a man to be great! I was one of those women that watched men take my ideas and act as if they invented them and I was so frustrated! And finally, I thought to myself, “Why am I frustrated? They are only doing what I ALLOWED.” I allowed men to own my GENIUS! I allowed men to STEAL my ingenuity! People will only do what you allow! If you have a great idea, OWN IT! There is nothing wrong with you owning your work and your creativity and being paid for your work and creativity!
After I spent a lifetime frustrated and having my own personal pity parties, enough was enough! I realized that I was powerful in my own right! I am a woman! And women are creative, intelligent, strong, powerful, wise and host of other things. I have agency! And I am in control of my thoughts, my ideas, and my creativity! And I will NOT apologize for being GREAT! I will not dumb my statements down so that men can feel smarter! I will not allow men to STEAL MY IDEAS when I have the power to manifest my ideas into actions!
I am a woman! And women can do ALL THINGS with no apologies needed!