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Dear White People, Please Stop Accepting Apologies on Behalf of Black People.

I honestly could stop right at the title, but let me make this clear because I have seen this time and time again online, and it is highly frustrating.

Today Vice President Joe Biden made a stupid remark to radio talk show host, Charlamagne Tha God, stating that he “ain’t black” if he had additional questions about whether to support Biden’s presidential bid over Donald Trump’s. Many people took offense to Biden’s comment, particularly many Black people, since the statement is directed towards a Black man and is about Black people. (Just so we are clear, in case any White people are confused, White people do not get to determine who is Black. Black is Black no matter how you vote. You are STILL Black. Racism knows NO party lines. It flows freely throughout EACH party. Also Black people are well within our right to ask some damn questions of someone who is desiring our vote. And I don’t care HOW MANY Black people you parade out to make us think otherwise. Please read my blog here for questions I have for Joe Biden. You don’t just GET the Black vote and shouldn’t just expect it. PERIOD!)

Naturally, the comment exploded online, and the ‘We Accept Apologies on Behalf of Black People Calvary” mounted up to accept Biden’s apology, explain to Black people what Biden meant, and why Black people shouldn’t be offended.

doctor who horses GIF

This is often the modus operandi of many White people online. A White person will say something racist or offensive and just as Black people are standing up to voice their opinions, here comes a White person acting as if they are the President of the We Accept Apologies on Behalf of Black People Club, to let the offensive White person know, “On behalf of Black people, we accept your apology.”

forgiven i forgive you GIF by #Impastor


Listen, IF YOU ARE NOT A PART OF THE PARTICULAR GROUP THAT WAS OFFENDED, YOU DO NOT GET TO ACCEPT THE APOLOGY! It is up to them (individually) to decide if THEY want to accept the apology.

showtime bodega boys GIF by Desus & Mero

Let me give you a scenario:

I am outside and see your neighbor come over and punch you in the face. You are in pain, and I run over just as the neighbor is apologizing, and before you can open your mouth, I say, “Oh, it’s fine. I am sure you didn’t mean it. It looked like it was an accident, and accidents happen. As a matter of fact, let me explain to them what you meant by that punch. Sometimes they tend to overreact, you know. I am sure they will be fine.”

It Is What It Is Shrug GIF by OWN: Oprah Winfrey Network

As the person affected, you would look at me like I was insane! I have NO RIGHT to accept the apology on your behalf because I am not IMPACTED! This ain’t a damn award show where a winner isn’t able to attend, and someone can step in and accept the award on their behalf.

season 1 love GIF by Showtime


I know this is difficult for some White people to comprehend, but every lane is not yours to bowl in. Black people can (should they choose to individually) accept their OWN APOLOGIES. You can call off the We Accept Apologies on Behalf of Black People Calvary.

The next time you are itching to accept an apology on behalf of Black people, do us all a favor and simply shut up.

Thank you!



4 replies »

  1. Okayyy first of all, I did not eveen know this was a thing and now I am mad all over again. But I love this post, this awareness and the forgiveness at the end. You walked me through all the stages and feelings, Loved itt.

  2. These apologies are happening too frequently when someone calls them out on their foolishness. Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. This man said what he wanted to say and the campaign manager has told him to apologize, when it was not in heart to do so on his own. He said what he said, and did not have remorse because as he stated, we have been by his side for years. Like Maya Angelou said, (RIP) “When someone shows you who they are, believe them”. He’s, sorry, not sorry. I agree, for those that were not offended take a seat on the back of the bus.

  3. I was hoping you would write a piece on Biden’s ridiculously awful comment and you, of course, did not disappoint. I have been getting into online spats with people who are either Biden apologists/explainers or who do that ****ing annoying “I am sorry you are offended” schtick. The angle I had not considered in all of this was the one you present here so once I again I am grateful for you making me contemplate a different perspective and consider an additional layer to this problematic behaviour.

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