Recently it was revealed that for the first time in 20 years, American Urban Radio Networks correspondent and CNN contributor, April Ryan was not invited to the White House
shit show Christmas Party.
We all wonder why?
I am sure April is heartbroken. I mean look at these decorations! Isn’t this a place you are just dying (literally) to visit?
It just screams, “Red Wedding!” Who doesn’t want to break bread with the likes of Lord Frey? I am sure Trump, just like Lord Frey, gives the BEST dinner parties!
Certainly, April had this event circled in red on her calendar with tiptoed anticipation because what Black woman doesn’t want to hob knob with
the Klan, Donald Trump? I am sure in the middle of this winter wonderland there would have been s’mores fixings and a bonfire waiting for her and everything!
What Trump doesn’t realize is that not being invited to shit you didn’t want to go to in the first place is cause for celebration!!
All jokes aside, I believe April Ryan will be just fine, and in fact, I have taken it upon myself to imagine THE TOP 10 THINGS APRIL RYAN WOULD RATHER BE DOING INSTEAD OF ATTENDING THE WHITE HOUSE CHRISTMAS PARTY:
10. Listen to more of Sarah-I Lie-For-Sport-Sanders Lies.
9. Watch white paint dry on a white wall.
8. Hang out with people that aren’t racists, Islamaphobic, treasonists, liars and supporters of pedophiles.
Eat a slice of Sarah-I-Lie-For-Sport-Sanders Fake Pie. Bake Sarah-I-Lie-For-Sport-Sanders a real pie.
6. Help Ivanka deep sea dive to meet Ariel to find more gadgets, gizmos and thingamabobs to add to her holiday decorations.
5. Dance around her house to Beyonce’s Lemonade as she gets in Formation and twirls on her haters.
4. Reclaim her time over red wine with Maxine Waters.
3. Catch up on Insecure and This Is Us.
2. Call Mueller to see how the investigation is going.
AND THE NUMBER ONE THING APRIL WOULD RATHER DO INSTEAD OF ATTENDING THE WHITE HOUSE CHRISTMAS PARTY….
1.Continue shining in all her Black Woman Glory and Black Girl Magic and giving this administration hell!
YOU’RE DOING AMAZING, APRIL!!
Featured Image: Lloyd Fox
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