Thoughts, Musings and Reflections

Lessons from Kevin Hart’s Statement on His Affair

“I’m at a place in my life where I feel like I have a target on my back.”
Wrong, Kevin. You do not have a target on your back. You have a target on your dick. Your back is fine. It is your dick that is causing you problems, and you are responsible for placing the bullseyes on your dick. Don’t deflect and don’t make it some conspiracy theory.  It is what it is.

“And because of that, I should make smart decisions.”
Wrong again. You should not make smart decisions because you believe there is a target on your back. You should make smart decisions because you are a grown man that is married with a child on the way.

“And recently, I didn’t.”
Recently? It is evident that you did not make good choices this time. Nor did you make smart decisions when you (allegedly) cheated on your first wife. This is not a recent problem. This is just a continuation of an ongoing problem for you.

“You know, I’m not perfect.”
No one said that you were or expected you to be. However, when you go online with an image of perfection rest assured people are going to look for the cracks in your veneer. It was you that said Eniko was your (spare) rib. And once you make that statement people are going to be watching. Look, marriages have issues. Anyone that says they never had an issue in their marriage is lying. Even if it’s as small as my mate doesn’t put the toilet paper back on the roll. Just be honest. What you did was present an image of perfection. People cannot relate to perfection, but they can relate to the truth. Be honest. It is “alleged” that you cheated on your first wife with Eniko and you deny that. You deny it because you are America’s funny, short, relatable Black comedian. You don’t want to ruin that image. You are more concerned with your image than the truth. And the truth is, you cheated on your first wife, and honestly, I am gonna keep it all the way real, you grew up being the short, dark-skinned kid and somewhere in your mind, you felt like you could NEVER get a woman like Eniko. In your mind, Eniko was the new standard. Forget, Torrei who was by your side before fame and fortune. Eniko was the upper echelon in the dating pool because Eniko was what you always thought you could not have. And with men like you, once you get what you have always wanted, you realize because of your money and fame, you can have another Eniko because Eniko aint going anywhere.

“I’m not going to sit up here and say that I am or claim to be in any way shape or form.”
We all know that because of how you treated your first wife. Eniko felt she was the upgrade and went online practically posting as such. However, Eniko, while you are the wife that has been cheated on, you know who you married because he cheated with you. Be assured; your sins will find you out. The very way that you got Kevin is the very way he has now brought drama to a marriage that should still be in its newlywed phase.

“And I made a bad error in judgment, and I put myself in a bad environment where only bad things can happen, and they did.”
Uh huh. The Bibbbbllllleeeee says people are led astray by their OWN desires. You cheated because you wanted to! Either you cheat, or you don’t. It’s not the environment. It is not peer pressure. It is simply something you either want to do, or you don’t.

”And in doing that I know that I’m going to hurt the people closest to me, who’ve I talked to and apologized to, that would be my wife and my kids.”
Personally, I feel it is one thing to cheat, it is another thing to cheat, and your wife is pregnant with your child. Really? None of that mattered, and it didn’t matter because you wanted to cheat. Hurting your wife and kids was the last thing on your mind. However, you know Eniko will not leave you. Why would she leave? There is something intoxicating about being in the proximity of fame, wealth, dining in the finest restaurants, vacationing all over the world, an abundance of social media followers, attending red carpet events, being inundated by the paparazzi, and having people want to be near you simply because of who you are married to. That is difficult to walk away from so you start weighing your options, and once you have had a taste of filet mignon, no one wants to go back to salisbury steak. Eniko knows who she married yet, she, like many women will lie to themselves, so they do not have to lye by themselves at night. For you, it was worth the gamble. Eniko was nothing but a pawn in the game.

“It’s a shitty moment. A shitty moment when you know you’re wrong and there’s no excuses for your wrong behavior.”
Pretty much. When you fuck up, and you KNOW you fucked up there are no excuses. And standing in the proverbial mirror and admitting you fucked up is one of the hardest things you will ever do and often one of the most painful things you will ever do. But admitting you fucked up is the first step to redemption. If you are really willing to do the work, you will try to unearth WHY you fucked up, and that is the hard part because it entails going back in time, often going back to a spot in your life that is still tender to the touch. And that will be a “shitty moment.” And it will hurt, and it will not feel good but discovering and unearthing the roots of those shitty moments will save you a lifetime of regret and drama.

“At the end of the day, man, I just simply gotta do better, but I’m also not going to allow a person to have financial gain off of my mistakes and in this particular situation that’s what was attempted.”
Gotta do better and will do better are two different things. Either you do, or you don’t. There is no in between. Be better. It is not that difficult to be faithful to your wife. You will be tempted, and temptation NEVER comes in the form of something you do not want. The temptation will always look like, taste like, smell like everything you have ever desired. That is what makes it tempting. No one is tempted by something they do not want. Be assured, in this world, temptations WILL COME. There is no getting around that but you have to make a decision, and often that decision is made before you even step foot out of bed if you will give in to temptation or not. When you give in to temptation, you leave yourself susceptible to many things. Do you know how many reckless moments I wish I could get back?! How many temptations I fell for? How many times my mouth said, “I gotta do better,” but in my heart, I knew I wasn’t gonna do anything but the same old thing? Look, listen to me, Kevin, your aha moment may seem like extortion and money, but all of that is like blowing dust in the wind. Money comes, and money goes. There are some things when you slip and fall into temptation, money will never remedy. There are some things when you yield to temptation you will NEVER get back. Money is the least of your worries. You are still thinking about money, and it was never about the money. Not when you examine the situation through spiritual glasses. It is about YOU. If your character can be destroyed, then temptation has done its job. And that is always more costly than money.

“I said I’d rather fess up to my mistakes.”
This is one of the best things Kevin said in his statement! OWN IT! Let me tell you, Kevin, why you are going through this. Because life is reciprocal. You cheated on your first wife, you lied about cheating on her and now here we are. Life respects those that OWN THE TRUTH! And the truth may not be pretty but at the very least BE HONEST! It is not the situation that causes problems; it is always the COVER-UP that causes the issues. People can relate to the truth. People can respect the truth. What people do not respect are lies. Because there is NO REASON TO LIE! We are all human and fallible. Simply OWN IT! Forget about social media and projecting a perfect Instagram, filtered marriage. Own your reality. And reality doesn’t come with filters. Reality simply is. Just be. Whatever that may look like. The good, the bad and the ugly. And know that you do not exist for us, you are living for you. And you must live for you on your own terms and in your own truth.

There is a lot that we can learn from Kevin Hart’s statement. Indeed, many of us are not celebrities and will never bask in the spotlight or the flashes from the lenses of paparazzi cameras. Our indiscretions may never be caught on film; nevertheless, we are human, and humans can relate to mistakes and temptations. What happened, happened and you cannot unscramble an egg or unbake a cake. It is done. Live, grow, learn and be wiser the next time. Because do know, there will be a next time. There always is and it up to you if you have learned your lesson this time around.

1 reply »

  1. I’m dead at the “spare” rib shot. But yea… you’re pretty spot on with how you analyzed this. Although I definitely do feel like he didn’t fess up simply because he didn’t want to be extorted lol. Or put differently, he wouldn’t have confessed if money wasn’t involved. I also feel like her price was too high lmao. He got money, but not THAT kinda money just sitting around waiting to cover extortion. So overall I feel the whole thing was a show for him to protect what little bit of himself he was able to protect. I just feel like him simply stating he did a wrong thing was not ground breaking. Like duh. Are you gonna say it was a good thing?? lol Idk. He needs to do better. If not in the least learn how to actually be discreet. It’s just a joke. I’ve barely been able to care about the situation cuz it’s so foolish all around.

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