Category: Thoughts, Musings and Reflections

A Black Woman Proverb: Here’s What’s Not Gonna Happen Today

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What y’all don’t understand is before we even leave the house we have already decided what’s gonna happen that day. We have already decided just how much bullshit we are going to deal with. We shower, get dressed and put on our “I wish a muthfucka would” lipstick, “Ain’t no one Fenty bother me” foundation, spray a little bit of “I don’t give a damn” perfume on our wrists, slip on our “Try me if you want to” stilettoes and grab our, “I will turn into Annalise Keating up in here,” handbag and head out the door, singing Take Me To The King the entire drive to work.

Stop Running For Second Place!

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This week Stacey Abrams appeared on The View and was asked about the rumors that she was being tapped to run alongside (behind) Joe Biden as the 2020 Vice President candidate. With no hesitation, Abrams stated, “I think you don’t run for second place.”In one sentence, Abrams spoke an entire sermon, and it resonated deeply with me. While Abrams was talking about the primary, I took her comments as a lesson for my life to stop running for second place. Who stands at the starting line of a race and says, “I want to be second?” Your mentality should always be, “I want to be first!” The goal should always be to run to win!

Us Movie Should Leave You Afraid Of Your Reflection…It Didn’t.

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My daughter told me, “You should have left Us feeling afraid to look at your reflection in the mirror.”  I didn’t. As I walked into the bathroom after the movie, I looked at my reflection in the mirror and washed my hands. I was not afraid. I was not spooked. I didn’t have that feeling that my reflection would turn its back on me or reach out and grab me.  There was no lingering fear like I felt watching Nightmare on Elm Street of Halloween years ago.  I left the theater thinking, “Perhaps I missed the message. Perhaps I missed the fear.”

Dear Alyssa, When It Comes to Being An Ally, Two Coats of Paint Are Better Than One

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In her quick rise in social justice circles, her continuous missteps show me that Alyssa has no foundation on which to stand when it comes to being an ally. Her activism is a house of cards built on sand. It is easy to commandeer someone else’s movement as your own. It is easy to go online when you have a vast platform and post something that “sounds” progressive and get thousands of likes and retweets. It is easy to comb through poems and pick a line or two that may help undergird your tweets. It’s easy to dress up in a handmaid’s costume and not see how your real life actions are not indicative of supporting all women. It’s convenient to post a Martin Luther King quote that makes you feel good. It is easy to do all of those things without doing any of the real work. Moreover, the real work doesn’t start on Twitter. It doesn’t start with a pink pussy cat hat. It doesn’t start with some catchy sign held up at a protest. I dare say it doesn’t even start with a hashtag. The real work begins when you first look inside yourself and challenge yourself to be better and to do better.

10 Lessons I Learned From Beyoncé About Being A Grown Woman 

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And finally, I’m a grown woman, I can do whatever I want!
Period. I am grown. I have worked incredibly hard to get to this point in my life. A point where I love me. I love the me that is staring back at me in the mirror. I am confident, and I own where I am going in life. The girl I was 20 years ago is not me now. I am fully aware of the woman I am and the woman I am becoming. I can do whatever I want and I do not need permission from anyone to do it! I am grown. And I do grown woman shit!

To all the women reading this blog, GO OUT TODAY AND BE GROWN BECAUSE YOU DESERVE TO BE!

Hell Hath No Fury Like A Woman With Receipts!

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Every woman I know, KNOWS THIS LOOK! It is a mix of, “I wish this fool would,” “You got me twisted,” and  “I got you right where I want you!”There is nothing more powerful than women who know who they are and refuse to be intimidated. Hell hath no fury like a woman that is sick and tired of your bullshit and that has receipts! 

I Am Becoming – Over 100 Women Share Their Becoming Journey

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I wanted to make a video of the poem and include photos of celebrities that have been influential in my Becoming journey, but I also wanted to include women that I interact with daily. I made a Facebook post asking for photos and what happened next completely blew my mind. Over 200 women posted their pictures, and they started to share their Becoming stories. Immediately I knew I didn’t need any celebrity photos in the video. These women were so powerful, strong, resilient, and faithful. They were enough. Their stories made me smile, made me cry, made me rejoice at their courage to share their failures, their pain, and their triumphs. What I thought would be a simple Facebook post immediately became more significant than me. I want to share their stories below in the hope that something will inspire you to start on your road to Becoming.