Race Relations

A Black Woman Proverb: Here’s What’s Not Gonna Happen Today

On The View, the hosts were discussing the resignation of Department of Homeland Security Secretary Kirstjen-I-Like-To-Lock-Kids-In-Cages-Nielsen. Of course, Meghan disregards Trump negatively talking about her deceased father and says that immigration is a winning issue for Donald Trump. (As an aside, if you thought for one minute Meghan was not going to support a man that talked about her father like a dog not only in life but also in death, you would be wrong. Meghan will always do what Meghan and many White women always do, support racist, White men. Birds of a feather always flock together.)

Joy Behar starts to speak about giving aid to countries in Central America and said, “That’s the way to solve the problem — keep them there, happy. Give them a house, give them food, help them, help their children.”

“Give a Nicaraguan a house?” Meghan said, cutting her off. “We’ve had a bunch of liberal guests who do not want to send in aid at all.”

“I’ve listened to you, let me just finish,” Joy responded.

Then, Meghan I-Whine-About-Everything-McCain thought she would try it on The View and really must have been feeling herself as she ran her fingers through her hair and told Joy, “Part of your job is to listen to me. Just saying.”

*Record Scratch*

If there was EVER a “WTF did you just say to me moment,” in daytime TV this was it.

Viewers could see the look on Joy’s face as she weighed her employment with completely going off a woman that is employed merely because her father was John McCain.

Perhaps Whoopi Goldberg felt the tension because she stepped in and said, “Here’s what’s not gonna happen today — we’re not gonna do this. Everybody gets a conversation piece, everybody gets to say their piece, and we don’t need to comment if we don’t like what we’re hearing. Just let folks talk.”

I felt that “Here’s what’s not gonna happen today,” in my spirit. I have been there, done that, and bought the t-shirt.

When a Black woman is done, she is done.

What most people do not understand is that Black women wake up knowing before our feet even hit the ground what we are NOT going to deal with that day. We have dealt with our mates, our children, we have fried the chicken, made dinner, packed lunches, helped with homework, dealt with Becky going to Human Resources, Chad sending one of his condescending emails, dealt with microaggressions, Karen asking to touch our hair, and some (and by some, I mean ALL) days enough is enough. Most of y’all don’t even understand we are 2 minutes from cussing everyone out and walking off our job. Seriously. However, we understand we have bills and responsibilities, so we deal with the drama every single day. But there are some days, that just ain’t the day. And Black women will let you know.

Black women deal with enough. 

What y’all don’t understand is before we even leave the house we have already decided what’s gonna happen that day. We have already decided just how much bullshit we are going to deal with. We shower, get dressed and put on our “I wish a muthfucka would” lipstick, “Ain’t no one Fenty bother me” foundation, spray a little bit of “I don’t give a damn” perfume on our wrists, slip on our “Try me if you want to” stilettoes and grab our, “I will turn into Annalise Keating up in here,” handbag and head out the door, singing Take Me To The King the entire drive to work.

If you hear any of the following phrases from a Black woman, I suggest whatever you had on your mind you just let it go. It’s a wrap.

1. What you not bout to do…
2. Let me tell you something…
3. Run that by me one more time…
4. Let me be clear…
5. Per our conversation…
6. I’ve cc’d the boss…
7. Girl Bye…
8. Oh, you thought?
9. Say one more thing…
10. I ain’t your lil friend…
11. You got me messed up…
12. Who gon’ check me, boo?

13. Today is the day…
14. Here’s what’s not gonna happen today …

If ANY of these phrases are punctuated with deliberate hard handclaps, a Black woman is REALLY done. It’s over. If you get the handclaps and then the fingers clasped, along with closed eyes and piercing of the lips that means, “I am calling on Jesus, Mary and Joseph to hold my tongue and not say what I really want to say because the mortgage is due but don’t push it.”

Every day we are fighting just to make it through the day. We try to be pleasant and smile. We listen to your stories and nod. We fake a laugh and a smile. We keep our voices calm, and even so, we do not come off as the “Angry Black Woman.” We reread our emails a hundred times just to make sure we aren’t perceived as upset when we are just passionate about our work. We endure microaggressions. But there are some days, we ain’t doing all that. There are some days that we have had enough. Trust us by the time we reach the, “Here’s what’s not gonna happen today” point, we have counted all the costs.

Know that.

If a Black woman says, “Here’s what’s not gonna happen today,” trust me, it ain’t happening today.

Period.

4 replies »

  1. “Meghan will always do what Meghan and many White women always do, support racist”.

    I hate that this is what life taught you and I hope it becomes less true for you (and for us, as white women) at some point.

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