Tiger, Tiger, Tiger…

All I can do is shake my head like one of the old church mothers on the front pew. Child, what is you out here doing?

You think you can get away with drunk driving?

You are no longer America’s golden boy. Your “I Can Be Out Here Acting A Fool and Get Away With It” card has been revoked. You no longer have a pass to just be doing some stupid shit. Tyler Perry, he might be able to get away with doing some stupid shit. Oprah might be able to get away with doing some stupid shit. Hell, Drake might even be able to get away with doing some stupid shit. You? No. Not today. Not tomorrow. Not even next year.

The minute the curtain was ripped and revealed that you were a serial cheater and cheated on the blondest of blond woman, your card was revoked.

Don’t you get it? They let you in and you messed up by cheating. They just needed one thing to make you the villian. They let you on a GOLF COURSE! They don’t care that George Franklin Grant invented the golf tee.  In a world where Clifford Roberts, golf administrator and co-founder of the Augusta National Golf Club, said, “As long as I am alive, golfers will be White, and caddies will be Black”, you were never expected to be allowed to play. In a game where Lee Elder, the first Black man to play in the Masters had to rent not one but two homes so he could move in between them to avoid racist attacks, you were never expected to win. Haven’t you watched Bagger Vance? Your job was never to be golfer in their eyes. You were supposed to be the mystical Negro that carried the bag.

What you don’t realize, Tiger is that you had the audacity to be great at their sport! You weren’t just great you dominated their sport. You didn’t just dominate their sport; you became rich playing their sport. You didn’t just play golf; you were the face of golf! You weren’t just the face of golf, but you opened the door for Black boys and girls to know if Tiger can do it, I can do it! Not only that, you had the nerve to win the Masters. The first and only Black man to put on the green jacket. You beat them at THEIR GAME!

And now they say you out here drunk driving?! Nope. Not today. Come on now! You have to be strategic in life the same way you were on that golf course. You must now learn to navigate this world.  Trust me, if they cannot do it, they will always give you enough rope to hang yourself. The same way you aced golf, you must ace your new normal – that you are a Black man in this world and there is no margin of error for slip ups.